I have had the privilege of spending time with my parents and family for the last month, traveling all over the states. Our longest destination has been on Lake Vallecito in Colorado. It is beautiful here and very peaceful. Just what my heart needed in this season. Not to mention, 6 free and loving babysitters.
I was running one day, well let me clarify, I was running up a hill and then panting for about 1/2 a mile. I had some things come up that were again causing the questions of why bad things happen to rise again. Then out of nowhere the road opened up to the most beautiful view I have ever seen. There were four mountains and in the heart was a beautiful, green valley with a river rushing through it. I sat on a rock and God started speaking. As the river was rushing around huge boulders. I also realized that were were slow moving parts that were very calm and then another set of rushing rapids that were caused by a big rock or debris in the middle of the river. I then thought about my previous white water rafting trip that we had taken a few days earlier. As we were going down the river, the guide pointed out what is called a "strainer". He said it was when debris, like sticks, logs, and other items get caught up and create a vortex that traps other debris. It is not a place to be but it is necessary. It keeps the river clean and allows the flow of the river to remain where it needs to remain. At the end of most rivers is a beautiful, clear lake. We are staying at one of those lakes. It is beautiful!! I started wondering what God was trying to tell me by all of these jumbled thoughts about a river. It hit me like a wave, no pun intended. Our lives are like mountain rivers and our outcome as believers is like that beautiful, clear, mountain lake. There are times in this journey when our lives are calm, peaceful and serene. Then there are times when huge boulders and debris, trials, pop up out of nowhere and cause rapids to develop in our lives. These rapids can often times be overwhelming and make us feel as though we are out of control and scared. Those boulders might be financial issues, marital issues, family issues, other issues or in my case and so many other of my friends lives, the death of a child. Shai's death happened and Pete and I felt helpless as the rapids took us and threw us around. We had no control, we could only trust that something bigger was in control. However, Shai's death had begun and continues the process of stripping us of ourselves and refining us into more Christ-like humans. We are being cleansed of ourselves and being replaced by something better. We are learning and trusting that in ALL things it will work together because we love God and are called according to His purposes. There are parts of us that would not be refined and changed without the life of our precious son and his death. Just like the river rafting guide said, the strainers and boulders are there to clean the river and keep it on the path it is intended for. So here we are, Pete and I, riding the rapids of death and trusting that God will move and work in our lives as well as others. We will probably go through more rapids in our lifetime but the ultimate goal is to be so refined that when we finally get to heaven we will be like that beautiful, clear mountain lake that has been refined and transformed from where it began on top of a cold mountain. Take something meant for evil and turn it into something beautiful. I don't need to know the full answer to why Shai has died, or why other friends of mine are walking the same valley. What I do need to know is that God is God and He has set my feet upon the rock and I will not be shaken. He is with us as the rapids envelope us and He will guide us through them with His strong right arm and bring us into the beautiful, clear lake that we like to call glory! God is good ALL the time!
