Learning to be thankful in the midst of darkness

It has been astounding to see how much love that people have shown to our family over the last few days. It has truly amazed Pete and I. One of the greatest comforts comes from the saddest of stories. I can not believe how many mothers and fathers have had to grieve the same thing that Pete and I have. The stories that others have shared have reminded me of the blessings that God has given me and His goodness to walk us through this journey. These are the kinds of stories that make your heart long for Christ to return and restore all things new. We want everyone to know how grateful we are for the love, prayers and support. They have meant more to us than you will ever know. I am reminded of the verse in Philippians 4 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests before God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Because of your prayers and petitions for us before God, Pete and I have a peace that would not be possible without them. This used to be one of my favorite verses but as of late it has become a hard verse to live out. Not the part about bringing your requests before God but providing thanksgiving as well. What?? Thanksgiving! My heart hurts, my husband is hurting, our daughter will never know her precious brother, Pete is still leaving for Iraq after Shai is born. What is there to be thankful for. That is just laying it out bare with where my heart is at times. However, the Lord has ever so gently through others stories and his loving spirit, reminded me of the things that I am so thankful for. Praise Him that I have the most calm, sincere, loving, patient, God fearing and God loving husband. There is no one I would rather walk this road than with him by my side. Praise God that I have been given the gift of a healthy child. Amelia is a beautiful, loving, stubborn, smart, FUNNY, cuddly girl that I can not imagine life without. There are couples that long to hold their own child and God has given Pete and I that opportunity. Praise God that He has allowed us the opportunity to carry our precious Shai. He is ours and God is allowing us to carry him and be a part of his short life. What a joy that we have this time. Praise Him that He is already showing His glory through Shai's life by touching other people. I have to allow myself to see the joy to work through the pain. Pain and trials are a part of this fallen world. However we have a God that allows those trials to grow and mold us into something far greater than ourselves. Shai is causing a growth in our hearts that would not be possible without his existence. What a powerful testimony for God he has and he is still in my womb. I will not pretend that the hurt is not deep. There are moments the tears don't stop and the darkness surrounds us in the worst of ways. I am just saying that God is there and is giving us a peace that surpasses all understanding.